Life is what you make it.

what ive realised over the past few weeks.

Life.

So sorry I haven't being able to blog! I've had a few problems going on and STILL going on..Hopefully they will subside soon and I will have my life a little bit, back to normal :) 

So I wanted to blog about a few things.  

20th Birthday!!

It was a lovely quiet night with my cousins. We went to a Oriental Buffet Restaurant to eat then we went bar hopping! Lol 

Drinks were flowing, Chat was good, Music was live and most of all, My family were amazing!! <3 

I can barely remember the night but from what I can remember it was an awesome time!!! Thanks to who came to celebrate with me!!! <3

 Cousin, Brother and Me <3

Best Cousin <3 and Me :) A little drunk LOL

Life 

On 17th July 2011 at 12.00am, I cried. I cried because I didnt want to turn 20. I wanted to stay a teenager just for one more year. since turning 20, life for me hasn't being exactly great and it hasn't being even before i turned 20. I feel there is a lot of pressure on me right now, I don't know how I am coping but i am coping JUST about. I feel the only thing that is keeping me sane is my lovely cousin and my gorgeous (moody) little sister :). Those 2 actually make me feel like i have to live on and conquer everything that is going on. I mean, everyone has problems right?, but you know when you think 'oh this wouldn't happen to my family ever', and then when it does, your like ' shit, it actually is happening', that's how its being for me. just pure shock and distress. I cant put into words how i felt when i actually found out the severity of the problems going on. it took me a good week to actually gather my thoughts and feelings, and to fully understand what was actually happening. after that week, i had a break down. i cried and cried and cried and cried, until no tears would actually fall from my eyes anymore. i felt sadness, anger, hate, death and darkness. it seemed like there was no way out and this cloud was just sitting above me, raining on me all the time ( i still feel like that sometimes). But, slowly slowly, im learning to deal with these problems and learning that these problems could either make us or break us. 

Next Step

On the brighter side, I have decided that im moving out of my family home to live on my own and get myself a lovely flat/house, I am going to buy a car once I pass in October and live my life how i would like to live it. So don't watch that, imma be living my life in the FAST LANE!!!! :) 

Sorry for the slightly depressing blog. I just have had no where to write my thoughts down and I thought a blog would be perfect to do so. 

Thank-you. 

Better late than never.

I hate being told what to do. Ok, maybe that sounds like I'm spoilt, but I'm really not. I just hate it when people say ' do this and do that..' like I'm a slave. JOG ON. The end.

Just realised by the way. only took me 19 nearly 20years to realise lol

Part 2.

Sorry havent blogged for a few days.. Been very busy with NOTHING... lol Actually I have been ill but anyway.  

I went to work yesterday ( Tuesday) after having monday off. I had a lovely busy day at work, all the children were playing me up.. (Thanks kids). Finish work at 6, walked to the bus stop, bus came within an instance so i was all happy that i didnt have to wait for the bus. I walked on the bus and went to stand in the pushchair bay and i get a tap on the shoulder. I look back and guess who i see.. WAIT FOR IT... THE BITCH! LOL, thats what ive decided to call her, since she has no exsistance in my life. Anyway She was all like ' hey , how are you? fancy seeing you here again'. I was like ' yeah, just finished work so tired blah blah'.  Then SILENCE.................. So i said ' hows work, busy ?' she said ' yeah was busy, phone ringing all the time'. I said ' oh okay' END OF.  This time i could tell she was acting abit more herself, as the last time she was all like stuck up little miss i know it all!

Did she NOT get the hint last time that i just dont wanna talk her? OBVIOUSLY NOT.  
I mean this is the girl who was my bestfriend in high school since first day in year 7, who laughed , smiled etc and I just dont see that anymore. Some people change i totally understand, I mean i have changed in the way i act around some people, but thats life, but i still have the same traits like i laugh loudly, joke around etc. I havent changed in that just because I work now, I MUST act stuck up. thats just not me, At all. People reading this may think deep down i actually care about this girl and maybe I do slightly but the way she has treated some of my friends and even myself just isnt right. Anyway, Im gonna stop talking about her now. this will probably be the last post i ever right about her or even bitching about someone. :) 
Argh. I feel like such a bitch for bitching about this bitch LOL but hey. Im a girl. I like to gossip :).

" So and So likes dancing because he is BLACK "

OK, big topic here.  skin colours.

I was at work playing with the kids. I over hear 2 girls ( May I add, majority of staff I work with are polish/white) talking about a little kid who is mixed race. They said " ___ likes dancing because he is black" !!!! So I look up at them and give them some DIRTYY look. I mean who the funk do they think they are. 

Being black is not a way of living, It is a colour! We are exactly the same to anyone who is White, orange, olive, pink etc..and that is HUMAN BEINGS! Theres people are just so stupid. Obviously, where they are from they have not mixed with anyone who isnt white, so of course their knowledge and understanding is very poor. But from living in london which is a very multi-cultural city, you'd think they would have some but they dont. which is very very sad.  May i just add, NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE LIKE DANCING, WE MAY HAVE RHYTHEM BUT WERE NOT ALL NATURAL BORN DANCERS!

Another time, Weather is getting very hot these days and we have to put sunscreen on children and a sun hat to protect them. So there is a little child who is black and one of the girls asked me ' Shall i put sunscreen on that child because i dont think child will tan because child is already dark??" I looked at her and said " im black, yes, and we DO actually get dark, So YES put sunscreen on child".
C'mon, I just had to shake my head. It may not be racism but it is DEFINATLY ignorance! and they say Ignorance is bliss.

Makeup

Ok, so today at work, myself, other staff and the babies were outside in the garden, enjoying the weather while it is here. One of my collegues brought up the topic 'Makeup'. she asked me ' Do you wear makeup Rhia?' i answered ' yes everyday', she looked puzzled as if to think 'really I havent noticed'. Another collegue said ' oh but with makeup you ment to have a lighter shade so you can actually see it'. I thought to myself, ' Makeup is not be seen so prominatly, its there to hide the flaws you may have, for example i have dark circles under my eyes, so I like to hide it using LIGHT foundation. I just answered ' Well I like to wear makeup so people cant really tell only I know that im wearing makeup'.  I wear heavy makeup on a night out but not for work, I mean who am I gonna impress!! My manager :S NOOO thanks! . I just couldnt believe how uneducated some of these people I work with are.. I mean, if they want to slap makeup on like no tomorrow, GO AHEAD, but im not. :) 

That really frustrated me. I was in such a bad mood for like an Hour but still lol 

Part 1.

Just come back from shopping with my little sister..went into marks and spencers to buy my mum a cake :). I see one of my OLD OLD friends from high school. I give her a little wave and smile. I paid for my items and then thought ' let me go over and say hi properly'. so i went over. said hi blah blah, and OMG shes changed soo much! Proper little stuck up little cow.. Cant believe it. Me and This girl used to be really close in high school and since I left and she got a ugly boyfriend shes just totally changed. I could of slapped the bitch lol. but obviously didnt as my sister was there. 

Anyway, I said bye to her, when i was out the shop i just laughed like so loud.. Just couldnt beleive my eyes.

....Part 2 coming

your hair is your beauty

SO..Got my hair done today as it was looking a total HOT MESS before!! lol

looking all lovely and FRESH now :) 

I actually love getting my hair done, so relaxing and calming, especially if you get it done professional and let the hairdresser wash your hair etc...I love it haha 

Anyway, 

Ill post a picture up soon ;) 

NO WORK TOMORROW! :)

Dance Or Die

Well, Ive just come back from watching my sister perform on stage at the her magistys theatre. O M G, she was amazing! I never knew how good my sister was at dancing! she totally owned the stage and was just fabulous! 

she does street tap and contempary dancing..bless her :) I nearly cried watching her! 

The theatre wasnt that great though, seats were soo small and tight..and to top it off, i was sat next to some ANNOYING little girl who thought it was funny to keep nudging me and laughing really loudly. I was not happy, she got what she was asking for.. a big nudge back lol BITCH! 

and THEN some old ladies sitting behind me were making soo much noises...grr could of punched them lol 

but overall, it was a lovely evening. My sister made me and my family very very proud :) 

Off to bed now..so tired..  :)

Driving Lesson

So ive just come back from my driving lesson.. its going well ( so i think anyway ). ive only JUST booked my theory which is at the end of the month! ( wish me luck guys!!! ) ... i did a mock theory test and......... FAILED MISERABLY! Think i need to get the good ole theory test book out and do some studying!

So i was driving along a busy road, when i move off im a little slow OBVIOUSLY as im in first gear and need to get at the right speed to go onto second gear, ANYWAY, bus was behind me, obviously wanted to do a quick shift, so theres me driving at like 5mph and hes flashing his lights, beeping and all sorts. So i just stick my hand out the window and show him 2 fingers haha... bet he was shocked. My driving instructor was in hysterics! haha

serves him right..bloody idiot! :) 

Dont worry, i am a safe CALM driver lol

First proper blog..i think it went well, if i do say so myself ;)

love Pretty little roses x

Welcome

Hey, 

Well I've just joined this blogger website. I probably wont be blogging alot, but when I do im sure it will be good..(Not) but anyway :) 

So Im Rhiannon, Im 19, I work with children, I have a Brother and Sister, I love to go shopping, cinema, SLEEP, clubbing Etc. 

WELCOME EVERYONE :) 

Rhiannon x